Thanksgiving 2019

It saddens me to see discord within a family. Truly saddens me. When discord occurs, close friends can begin to fill the void and family begins to feel more like strangers. There are times when I have witnessed people feeling more comfortable with friends coming over than actual family. Why? Because there’s no judgment. No gossip. No shaming. Let’s look at that for a second. Is that the ideal situation? Is there not something wrong with this picture? How is it that friends can be more accepting, more loving and less judgmental than actual family? Whether or not we know the reason why… in certain situations it can be completely true. As the holidays approach… I would hope to see more unity among families. Unity starts with respect. Respecting others’ decisions in how they choose to live their lives as well as the respect to not pry. Even amongst family, as an individual you reserve the right to share what information you would like to share and what you would like to keep to yourself. I know I may lose some people when it comes to that point but that is my belief. Some people feel that nothing is to be private among family members. I do not agree. I think that, that level of sharing is important within a marriage but not among family. I personally believe that people have the right to decide what personal information they want to share, how they want to share it and whom they want to share it with. Is that perhaps the ideal situation, everything on the table between family members… yes, maybe so but if that dynamic is not there, then you can’t force it. So when at the dinner table this year, it may not be a good idea to ask your 40 year old cousin “No husband or babies yet?” It may not be the best idea to ask the married couple with one child “So where’s baby number two?” You might want to think twice about asking your Uncle “What are you doing with your life? Still trying to be an entrepreneur?” Might want to refrain from asking your little brother at the dinner table “Who’s the new girl?” You may want to rethink asking the new girl “So what do you do with yourself? Where do you work?” You may want to keep the comments about someone’s home to yourself. You might not want to mention how your sister’s daughter’s “…hair is looking cray.” I think it’s important to actually enjoy each other’s company. Leave the rude, snide, invasive inappropriate comments and questions to yourself. I always think that when spending time with family, it’s important to actually spend quality time with each other. This is not the time, to question, interrogate or attempt to make others feel badly. This also isn’t the time to take mental notes of any “flaws” to discuss with your girls, boys or other family members as you “spill the tea”. It’s family. However, as long as people gossip about each other or attempt to shame others for their life decisions, it will never quite feel like family. It’s impossible to actually spend good quality time with family if when together, there is nothing but shade and questions followed by the “spilling of the tea” afterwards.. So this year, just try to enjoy one another’s company. Try to really see the beauty in each member of your family. We each bring something beautiful and unique to the table. This holiday season, during your conversations with others, make it your goal to find one thing that is beautiful or unique about that person. What are they passionate about? What do they love? What’s one quality you admire about them? What do you share in common? Is there anything about them that is different and beautiful? It’s the most wonderful time of the year to search for the beauty within yourself and others. Find the beauty and spread that around.

Stay beautiful- Crystal